One Night Stanzas

The other day I received this rather tricky question: “How do you deal with poetry you don’t like written by people you do personally like? Whether they work in a style not to your taste or occasionally turn out a clunking stinker, are you honest about it or quiet or lie?”
A tricky question, but a good one. What do you do when required to give feedback on someone else’s poem, and your first reaction is “I don’t like this”? Read on and see what you think to my solutions…

1: I hate my best friend’s/partner’s/mum’s poetry.
OK, first of all - these people love you. Right? Unless you have a really crappy relationship with your best friend/partner/mum/whoever (and if you did, I’m guessing they might not be so keen on showing you their poetry, and you might not be so worried about telling them you hate it), chances are they’re not going to stop speaking to you because you say you don’t like their poems. These are the people with whom you can be truly honest, so take advantage of that! If your best friend writes a poem to send off to a magazine, but you don’t think it’s any good, for goodness sakes tell them! Chances are - although they may be disheartened at first - they’ll thank you later.
Secondly, with people like this, you don’t have to give a huge long-winded critique or anything. If your partner spends three days writing you an epic love poem that makes you cringe, you can avoid hurting their feelings by saying “I really appreciate the sentiment behind this.” That way, you’re not commenting on the poem directly, and you’re not hurting their feelings. And if your mum is writing poetry and asking for your input, give it - you don’t necessarily have to say “I hate it.” Instead, make suggestions - say “it would be a whole lot better if you did X,” for example. You don’t need to risk lying/setting up your loved one for a fall by saying “yes it’s amazing,” but you also don’t need to make them feel rubbish about their poetic abilities!

2: I hate my workshopping-mate’s poetry.
This is more of an issue, because you’ll probably be required to give in-depth critique to a workshop mate… and you might not know them well enough to be brutally honest. The answer here is to put your own opinions and tastes aside as much as you can, and to concentrate on the technical aspects of the poem. If the poet in question sticks carefully to a metric form, praise the care and attention they’ve paid. If they have nice images here and there or a word-choice that strikes you as unusual, point that out, too. Make sure you make some positive points as well as some nitpicks - tearing their poem to bits because you don’t like it won’t help them, and it won’t make you any friends in your workshop group! If all else fails, say “this isn’t my kind of thing, but…” and finish it with the most positive response you can pull out of the poem without being dishonest. There will always be something to be positive about! And at the end of the day, you’re just another reader, regardless of the fact that you’ve been asked for a critique. While you hate it, ten other people might love it - try and see the positives, and mention them… even if it does make your teeth itch.

3: I hate my collaborator’s poetry.
This is, I admit, a bit of a disaster. When you’re part of a poetry collaboration, the other person’s words are as much tools to be used as your own, and so seriously disliking the way they do things can make the whole creative fusion part rather tricky. Collaboration is about working together, and working together often requires compromise. If your collaborating partner is contributing stuff you don’t like or can’t work with, you need to be honest with them - just don’t be too harsh. Tell them you’re finding it hard to work with their material because it’s not to your personal taste, or because it’s not what you’re used to dealing with. Offer some suggestions and assure them you want to work together to solve the issue. And bear in mind: compromise comes from both sides. OK, so you think their poetry is rubbish, but why should you be the dominant partner? You do have to give the other collaborator(s) an opportunity to get their ideas across, and you have to accept that, to an extent, they’ll have their own way of doing that. If everyone was the same as you, it would suck, so allow them to express themselves. And if all else fails, see it as the ultimate challenge… create something you’re really proud of off the back of the stuff you dislike. It might make you see the bad stuff in a better light.

4: I hate my new acquaintance’s poetry.
The question that sparked this article had a sub-question: “how [do you] play it when meeting a sweet-but-not-spectacular poet for the first time, when the obvious topic of small talk would be their work?” Fortunately, this one’s relatively easy to deal with because of the nature of the relationship. If you’ve only just met this person, chances are you haven’t seen to much of their stuff, so if they ask you what you think, you can say “I don’t think I’ve seen enough to form an opinion,” and avoid upsetting them. Sometimes when you meet a poet for the first time, they want to tell you their huge and complex theories about how poetry should be written, and more often than not, their theories will conflict with yours. If this is the case, there is nothing wrong with getting into a discussion about it - listen to what they think and then tell them what you think. It’s never going to be carnage because technically you’re on common ground: you both have opinions on the same subject, which suggests you’re both at least interested in it. When you have a common interest you can use it as a way to avoid unpleasantness - if they ask what you think to their use of forms and you’re a staunch free-verse-er, for example, ask them why they use form… they might even convince you to have a go yourself. At the end of the day, the way out of all these scenarios is the same: whatever you find yourself saying, put a positive spin on it - e.g. rather than “this sucks,” go for “it would be better if you tried X”. If you’re essentially being positive, no one can get upset with you. But you don’t necessarily have to lie about your own views in order to do it, either.

Got a burning question for me? Email claire@onenightstanzas.com - I’m always happy to hear from you!

(Photo by Jontintinjordan).

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Thanks to everyone who stopped by to check out my Thanksgiving contest, which asked you the question “what are you thankful for?”. All the answers made great reading, and it was tricky to choose a ‘best’ one from the pack. However, I eventually decided that the winner ought to be Katja, with this list!:

“1. My parents (and dog!). They’ve been there for me through some really, really rough patches and sometimes i cannot understand WHY they would keep on keeping on with me, but they do.

2. Getting accepted into the Uni I’m at, getting to study English filology, which means lots of literature and arts and history and language.

3. Being on the mend.

4. As butt-kissy as it sounds, this blog. I found it literally a few weeks after starting Uni, right when I was going through poetry in my Lit tutorial class, and reading this blog inspired me (still does!) a lot, and made it somehow easier to understand what we were talking about in class.

5. All the great, inspiring people I’ve met online and in real life, who dare to think outside the circle and are creative and unique.

6. Music, without which I would go absolutely insane, be bored to tears, feel more alone than I am, etc.

7. I’m thankful that there is thankfulness in the world, still! It’s like hope.”

And no - I didn’t just pick her because she name-dropped ONS! I picked Katja’s list because it was honest, modest, simple and sweet. I loved the fact that Katja is thankful for simply “being on the mend” - something we could all relate to in some way or another - and Number 7 in the list really clinched it for me. Nicely done, Katja! Get in touch with me to claim your poetic prize!

(I can’t help but mention H’s list, too - it reads like a poem and again is very honest. Rather more bittersweet, but lovely:

“Sadness and wealth.
South African liquor.
Smoking a cigar in my pink bathrobe.
Tyler, who writes poetry and licks the inside of my mouth.
Sadness and wealth.
My mother, who stole 7 thousand dollars from me - I hate you, but thank you for birthing me, I suppose.
My brother, who no longer speaks to me, thank you for getting into the fight with me one time when I hit you with a shovel - these things teach us a lot.
Sadness and wealth.

The first time I held a gun and shot a plastic bottle in the desert.

My husband, who works twelve hour days so I can sit around smoking a cigar in my pink bathrobe and writing.

The turkey we cooked at midnight, drinking apple wine, eating molasses cookies.

The place I lay my head that is sadness and wealth.

And the way a turkey looks like after you take off all of the meat - so naked and strange and wonderful.”)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving day, whether you celebrate or not! It’s downhill to Christmas now… anyone else excited?

(Photo by Ana Santos)

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Checkkit, yo.

Who was nominated for the Bad Sex Award this year? And who won?
We the people get a say in who the new poet laureate is! And apparently we’re incapable of picking someone good… but can anyone be as bad as Andrew Motion?!
Also from the Guardian Books Blog: The good side of bad books // Iain Rankin’s secret life // Poster poems: water // Quiz: how well do you know TS Eliot? (I got 11 out of 14!)

Great stuff from Daily Writing Tips this week: do you know the difference between ‘un-’ and ‘dis-’? What about words that use the three-letter ‘i’? And this article on split infinitives caused The Boy (a closet Trekkie) to get a bit defensive…

Check out this brilliant bookish art installation in North Beach, San Francisco (anyone live near there? Send me pictures!)

You’ve heard of “last words” - what about last photographs?

Dear Santa: spotty-lined trench coat! Andy Warhol colouring book! Tattoo paper dolls! How cool??

Or how about this? Emily Dickinson becomes a t-shirt pin-up girl!

Fascinating stuff: what people write on their money // Marilyn: before and after // aren’t death scenes in Disney movies kind of violent?! // how long could you survive without a job? // the next Dalai Lama could be a woman // can you spell “dictionary”? // and this is so going to be my dying wish, too!

Thanks: to Gala, for putting me in her Carousel… and to Annie for her mention of ONS, and Featured Poet of last week, Simon!

And speaking of Simon… check out this video of him reading at Poetry Unplugged a couple of weeks ago. You can also read an in-depth interview with another former Featured Poet, William Soule, here… with some questions from me!

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving, for those of you who celebrate it! Now, tell me what you’ve loved this week!

(Photo by Of Tales and White Lies)

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I can’t believe it’s so long since my last Inspiration Tips post! Here are some more, anyway…

Grab a book at random - no careful choosing! - turn to a random page and then focus on a random line. Write down that line (or the most coherent part of it) and use it as the first line of a poem. Don’t think about it too much - just use your first line as a starting point, and then write. Keep writing without trying to “shape” your poem too much. Just let ideas fall onto the page… save the editing for later. You might not create your greatest masterpiece… but you’ll probably create something a bit different to your usual, and that’s always a good thing!

Go to the library. Not necessarily to write… libraries are great places for all kinds of creative activity. Wander around until you spot a title that intrigues you, and check it out. Grab a heap of poetry books and work your way through them. Look for notes in the margins of textbooks (they’re surprisingly easy to find), and write a poem about the person who might have scribbled them there. And when you get bored… go find another section to look at. Take out a book of maps or tattoo designs, something you wouldn’t normally read. Peoplewatch.

Check out the Visual Poetry group on Flickr.

Read the thesaurus. Well, OK, not cover-to-cover or anything. Just flick through, stop every so often at a random page and see what’s there. Note the connections between words and the connotations that run through your head as you read them. It sounds weird, but try it… and keep your notebook handy. It’s the word-geek equivalent of clicking onto Wikipedia and hitting “random post.” Try it!

Generate ten metaphors or similies using The Halfbaked Metaphor/Similie Generator! List them, then fill in the gaps. Do you have a really weird and wonderful poem in front of you?? Probably!

(Photo by Beth retro)

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I just discovered For Southern Boys Who Consider Poetry (When Soul Food Isn’t Enough), the blog of poet Saeed Jones. One of his recent posts was a list of Books that Matter, and he’s also posted some responses he’s got from his readers. I thought this was a pretty sweet idea, so here are my Books That Matter. I really hope you’ll tell me yours, too - whether it’s one book that particularly touched you or twenty that you think changed your writing. I’d really like to do what Saeed did and post your responses on the blog, so please do respond. I know you’re all reading - you need just to comment now and again!

Books that influenced my poetry:
Dreaming Frankenstein by Liz Lochhead // Mean Time by Carol Ann Duffy // Ruin and Beauty by Patricia Young // Nine Horses by Billy Collins // The World’s Wife by Carol Ann Duffy // The Boy Who Taught The Beekeeper To Read by Susan Hill // The Unswept Room by Sharon Olds // Another Country by Jane Griffiths

Books that taught me things I didn’t know about poetry:
Why I Am Not A Painter by Frank O Hara // Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg // Somebody, Somewhere by Alan Gillis // Kaddish and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg // The Birthday Letters by Ted Hughes // Love is a Dog from Hell by Charles Bukowski

Wow… that’s weird. All my ‘teachers’ are men, and all but one of my influences are women. What does that say?

Tell me your lists - which books made you the poet you are? Which books changed your poetry, influenced your poetry, or helped your poetry? Which books matter to you? (Don’t forget to check out Saeed’s blog!)

(Photo by Mintlips)

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Thanksgiving Things I Love Thursday!!

Cheesy pop songs …you know, the kind you’re really not supposed to like. It’s Alesha Dixon’s fault. I’ve had that song stuck in my head for a week, and why? Because, like it or not, it’s a great pop song. Great pop songs are the ones that you can’t stop humming to yourself - they’re the ones you eventually have to buy because they just won’t leave you alone! (I have managed to resist buying Alesha’s single so far, however, despite the fact she was awesome on Never Mind The Buzzcocks - alongside, by the way, the incredibly hot Kelly Jones - the other night.) So for the past few days I have been listening to loads of great quality, dreadful pop music, like this (major product placement in that video!), this and - perhaps worst of all (the costumes! The miming!) - this. Music snobs, take your best shot! Just bear in mind that these guys were considered bad and cheesy once upon a time, and this was actually labelled “a novelty record”. Muaha!

Photoshop disasters. The Boy and I discovered this a couple of days ago and we’re now pretty addicted. Some of this stuff just beggars belief! This one is particularly lame!

My new project. I’ve just got on board with a big new poetry project that’s set to explode onto the Edinburgh scene in about mid 2009, and I am pretty darned psyched about it. I can’t really say too much as it is still very much in the formative stages… looking for funding, budgeting, all that boring stuff. However, the planning so far has been great fun and it looks like it could all work out really well. It’ll provide a really good opportunity for unknown poets to get involved, so I’ll be calling on you lot to pitch in at some point in the future. Exciting!! Watch this space!

Talking to artists. I seem to be doing a lot of this lately - in fact, I just got off the phone with Laura Mossop, artist of the ONS title-image fame! Talking to artists is great and I should do it more often - they really do see things differently to other people. My sister is a graphic designer and always incredibly busy, but she still makes time every day to scribble in her sketchbook and make visual notes of stuff she’s seen that day. She lives with another artist and their flat is like a crazy little gallery - they have their own artwork, friends’ artwork and even artwork they found in skips, just scattered all over the place… they also have a wall covered in clocks which they found in thrift stores, and the kitchen walls are covered in collages of pictures of food they’ve cut out of magazines! Artists always seem to be visionary, optimistic and brave people, I always feel inspired (although sometimes intimidated!) talking to them. Befriend one and see if you can see what I mean!

Free time. Term is winding down, and I am really looking forward to having a whole month of free time when I can hang out with my parents, and get some writing done. I plan on just reading, writing and blogging over the holidays and hopefully I’ll get some good poems down. With things at Uni slowing down a bit this past week I’ve already had a chance to write some new stuff, so hopefully that’s a good omen. Fingers crossed!

Thanksgiving. For the past two years I’ve kind of got into the habit of celebrating Thanksgiving despite the fact it’s not a UK festival - I have a friend who always cooks a huge Thanksgiving dinner and invites all her friends over! Sadly, she just moved back to the States so Thanksgiving this year is a smaller affair for me… but I still think that taking time to think about what we’re grateful for is something we should all do. That’s partly what TiLT is about after all, so I hope you’ll all write a TiLT list this week… and hopefully check out my Thanksgiving “what are you thankful for?” contest, too!

What’s on your Thanksgiving list?

(Photos by KT Lindsay)

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…to all my US readers! I am seriously jealous. Have a great time with your families and friends, enjoy all the great food (pumpkin bread! Hells yeah!) and don’t forget to check out my Thanksgiving Contest!

Here’s a little Thanksgiving goodness:
When Thanksgiving Cakes go wrong, and, er, really wrong… and when they turn out pretty darned sweet! // Some Thanksgiving poems // A guide to gift-giving and giving thanks // How to avoid political slaughter on Thanksgiving! // Fish nor Fowl takes a fresh look at Thanksgiving // and in case you haven’t checked it out yet… Modlife’s Thanksgiving Top 10, which inspired my Thanksgiving contest!

What are YOU doing for Thanksgiving?

(Image by Wotdoin)

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Bottom of the World Magazine
Editors: Frank M Vorassi
Established: 2008
Based in: UK
Website: http://www.freewebs.com/bottomoftheworld
Submit via email: fm.vorassi@gmail.com

OK, let me start with this statement: Bottom of the World is awesome. It’s pretty much the best-looking print-on-demand magazine I have ever seen, it’s full of really great writing from all over the world, it’s a really reasonable price for what you get, AND it’s named after a Tom Waits song. What more could you ask for?

I first discovered BOTW before it really existed, and as soon as I heard the editor’s ideas about the magazine I was excited. The team are a really friendly, approachable bunch - they’re all writers themselves, they all do the submitting-to-magazines thing and they all know the pain of rejection and the awesome feeling of being accepted. They are you: young, struggling to write and keen to get published. As a result, you won’t get any snobbery or “we’re very busy so don’t email us”-type stuff from BOTW - the submission guidelines are pared back to the bare minimum and made as accessible as possible. That said, this is a pretty professional outfit - the magazine comes out roughly quarterly and the team work under reading periods with short breaks in between while they put each issue together. Submissions are accepted from all over the world but whittled down to around twenty writers per issue. The quality of the writing is always great, but the choices aren’t predictable - the team will take you on if you’re good, regardless of whether you’re a bit weird or not…

I really admire what the BOTW team (technically only two people) have achieved with their first two issues. I’d really encourage you not only to submit your work to this magazine (because I’m pretty sure people are going to start hearing and talking about it soon), but also to buy yourself a copy. You get such a great product for your money, and this is a publication that really deserves your support. So what are you waiting for? Get over to their site and check them out!

Know a magazine that deserves a mention? Let me know!

More Featured Magazines here:
Featured Magazines #7: Read This Magazine
Featured Magazines #6: Clearfield Review & Bolts of Silk
Featured Magazines #5: Tontine & New Magazine
Featured Magazines #4: Gloom Cupboard
Featured Magazines #3: Brittle Star & Spark Bright
Featured Magazines #2: The Beat & Pomegranate
Featured Magazines #1: New Leaf & Open Wide Magazine

The lovely, lovely folks over at Modcloth recently posted their Top 10 list of things to be thankful for, in honour of Thanksgiving Day 2008! And, since I did something like this for Halloween, I thought I’d run another little contest here. Post a list of things (it doesn’t have to be 10 things, or anywhere near as lengthy as mine!) YOU are thankful for in the comments box, and if there are enough entries, the best one will win a poetic prize!
This is open to everyone, not just those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, although you lot may well be better versed at this kind of thing… You have until this Saturday to write your lists, so get on it!

My own list is as follows…

1. My flat. This is up there with all the other big stuff - you know, running water, being born in a safe, stable(ish!) country, my education etc. Having a roof over my head is a big deal, and although I whinge about how small it is (The Boy and I live together in a one-room studio apartment), it’s a pretty decent roof. My flat is on the fourth floor of a converted warehouse on the super-trendy (apparently) Grassmarket, right in the centre of Edinburgh’s Old Town. It has sunny yellow walls, posters, plants, my prized stereo and space for all my books and records. It’s easy to keep warm and clean because it’s so small; it also has a balcony and a communal roof garden right under the magnificent Edinburgh castle! It’s also stupidly cheap; I love it really.

2. The Boy. Cheesy but inevitable. Like I say, we’ve lived together in a tiny one-room apartment for over two years now, and so far we haven’t even come close to murdering each other — for that alone I am grateful. Probably because he’s 5′4″ of tattooed loveliness… apart from the fact he doesn’t seem to know how to hang up wet towels in any way at all.

3. The Read This team, past and present. I nag these guys endlessly, but I couldn’t do it without them, and I love them to bits. They all bring something different to the magazine (Dave is the serious, literary one; Struan is the nice one; Chris is the cynical, scathing one and Hayley is always the casting vote!) and they always ensure that there’s never a dull moment when it comes to editorial meetings!! I’m particularly grateful to them now that we’ve reached one year in publication: I never thought it would happen… but between them they made it happen!

4. My sister. Because no matter what I do or say and regardless of the fact that no one else wants to talk to me or help me out, she’s always around and she’s always ready to forgive me for being stupid or annoying. She’s also freaking hilarious, crazy, spontaneous and great to spend time with. She produces some pretty sweet artwork too!

5. Forest Cafe. Forest is without doubt the coolest place in the whole of Edinburgh, and sometimes I feel like I practically live there. It’s a cool, cozy cafe and venue-space with bright orange walls, murals, crazy painted table-tops, a tiny stage with a piano, and incense burning everywhere. They serve delicious veggie and vegan food (soup, burritos, cake) and loads of different kind of tea, and the kitchen is totally staffed by volunteers. Forest also has its own art gallery space, a music practice studio, an action room, a library, a free shop (where people take stuff they don’t want/need any more and other people are free to take it away), a hairdresser (£10 for a haircut with a free shot of vodka!) and a shop selling the art, crafts and music of Edinburgh locals… all under one roof! They also run Forest Free Records, their own recording imprint, and Forest Free Press & Forest Publishing - publishing initiatives which, among other things, put together chapbooks for poets and produce Read This! Forest is basically my second home and I love it!

RT eds Dave, Chris and Struan, and Tontine ed Julia, in the Forest!

6. The Universe being kind to me. Just small things like finding out that one of my neighbours had a bookcase going free-to-a-good home, just when my book collection was starting to spill off my old shelves (and the fact that it fit perfectly in a space in my flat!). Sweet emails from you guys, finding awesome stuff by chance in charity shops, writing a great poem… stuff like that. Cool, small things happening.

7. Edinburgh. I love my home city to bits, and having lived here five years, I really feel like a part of it now. I can give directions to just about anywhere, I’m officially a regular at the Blind Poet pub, I know all the cool poetry events and such that are going on and I’ve managed to keep a literary magazine going here (in the UNESCO World City of Literature no less!) for a year. It’s cold and windy here but it’s also beautiful, friendly and there’s always something going on. It’s possibly the best place in the world to be a writer, too… so much inspiration and encouragement. Thank you Edinburgh!

8. Secondhand stores. Because I am a poor and smelly student (and have been for the past four years!) most of my stuff - clothes, shoes, records, books - comes from thrift shops and vintage stores. To anyone who’s turning their noses up at the thought: think again! Pretty much all the coolest things I own were once thrifted… and anyway, I am sick to death of reading all these look-at-my-brand-new-designer-shoes, look-at-the-outfit-I-wore-today-it-cost-£300 type blogs and sites. They seem to place so much value on labels and spending. Thrift, guys! It helps your pocket and it helps the environment.

9. My parents. I’m so lucky to have parents as supportive, accepting and generally cool as mine are. They’ve supported me all through my degree and continue to do so in all kinds of ways. They are totally behind me in terms of my poetic projects, they help me out financially when I need them to and their house is always open for me at all times. The only slightly disturbing thing is their habit for Googling my name to find out what I’m up to!

10. You: my ONS readers! ONS has been going for about three months now - it took a bit of a leap of faith to set it up, but thanks to all your support and help, I’ve been reassured that it was a good thing to do! It would be pointless if no one read, if no one responded, so thank you guys! You keep ONS going and you are the reason for it!

OK guys - what are you thankful for? You can list the big stuff, the small stuff, or anything else in between. The best list will get a prize, so get listing!

(Image by BlueRidgeLady)

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Someone sent this to me and I thought I’d post it here. It’s only seven questions, but if you don’t like these things, scroll down quickly now!

1. Do you play an instrument?
Until the age of about ten I had piano lessons, but I reckon I was always disastrously bad. My Dad has been playing piano and organ since childhood and is really darned good, so I think it was a bit of a disappointment to him when I turned out to be rubbish. I took up the violin for a few months in primary school but quit because I hated my teacher (she hated me too because I didn’t practice)! But here’s a confession: I do play the recorder. I took it up in primary school like everyone else, but just never really quit - I played all through high school and ended up in the school orchestra. I played descant, treble, tenor and bass and got to about grade seven. Recorders really can sound nice when played properly and the stigma they carry really upsets me! I don’t play too much anymore but I still dig all my recorders (including a transparent blue plastic one!) out every so often!

2. Do you like your name?
No… in just about any British accent it sounds like someone spitting something out. I don’t really relate to it, and I don’t always answer to it because most other people call me by a nickname, including pretty much every member of my family! The Boy calls me Bob (it’s a long story) and I feel like that’s more “my name”, oddly!
Because I don’t like my name (and because my sister got a much nicer one!) I am determined to give my children interesting names (but not too interesting; no Apples or Xaviers or anything). My all-time favourite boys’ name is Dashiell (as in Hammett… pronounced “Dash’l”) and I am determined that, if I ever have a son, that’s his name. No one else is getting any input… it’s Dashiell.

3. Who’s the most famous author you’ve ever met?
Margaret Atwood. She came to Edinburgh to do a reading with Lewis Hyde, and I went along with a couple of people who sat through the reading and then scarpered. I bravely waited to meet The Atwood and then rather embarrassed myself by getting starstruck and garbling at her. But she was lovely - very smart and arch and a little bit scary, but also quite sweet… and very very small, with huge wild white hair like a dandelion clock.

4. What qualifications do you have?
I have an MA with Honours in English Literature from the University of Edinburgh, which I got onto by working my butt off in high school and bagging five Highers (English, History, Art, French, German) at A grade. I also have two Advanced Highers (English and History)… well, three technically - art, too. Except I failed, so I keep it a secret! I got a 2.1 in my degree, and I’m now chipping away at an MSc in Creative Writing, also from the University of Edinburgh. If I do OK and I can find the ca$$$h, I might also do a PhD. Watch this space…

5. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever done?
When I was in high school I worked a couple of seasons as a day-lamber and general farmhand. We lived in the middle of nowhere at that time and I somehow got roped into doing some farmwork for a friend of my mum’s who ran a sheep farm with her husband. I became an expert at catching lambs (they’re fast little critters), working out where ducks hide their eggs (in the most hard-to-get-at places) and driving a quadbike and trailer. I also delivered a baby cashmere goat, which was named Askew in my honour! It was a pretty awesome job but very bizarre and more than a little mucky…

6. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to confess to doing?
The worst confession I ever made was when I had my first tattoo, and had to tell my mother. I was in Canada at the time and wanted to call her straight away after I’d had it done, and get it out of the way, but the time-difference meant that I had to lie awake all night worrying about what she’d say before I could finally call her! Her reaction wasn’t too extreme so it was OK in the end, but I’ve never felt so guilty and awkward in all my life… cringe.

7. When did you feel really, really daft?
Erm… a couple of years ago someone told me Paul Newman had died (he actually just died recently - RIP Paul), and I went around saying to everyone “did you hear Paul Newman died?” only to discover it was total rubbish. I also though that Washington DC was in Washington State for a really long time… then I went to Washington State and felt like a twit. Geography is really not my strong subject!

OK guys, I want YOU to jump on the meme bandwagon, too!! Post your answers in the comments box, or if you have your own blog, post them there and link back!

(Photo by Tokicat)

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